The Femalution

Remember that sinking feeling? the feeling of embarrassment and exclusion at the words of some uncle or straight man.

“That’s for girls”

“Why are you playing with that”


You know the drill. When you want to dress up in a dress after watching the 80’s classic Mannequin with your big sisters. They got to wear mums old wedding dress and another of her frocks whilst i werked a towel (brilliantly) 💁. The need to be part of it, a member of that wonderful team. I wanted to be my sisters when they got to be free. They were my idles for so much more than just being my big sisters. They had a little of what I wished for at night. They were free to be gentle, free to sing, free to explore clothes and I was not. Not without fearing a tut and ironic sass from a man.

I loved match box cars, power rangers, had that boyish hunger for play fighting but I wanted to feel and be feminine at the same time. I wanted to put on shows and be able to be gentle with a doll. I remember something so vividly from my childhood that I constantly have thought about it for over 20 years. Whenever I see a child being told that “that’s for girls” or “you don’t want that, it’s sissy” I feel it all over again. The fantasist in me was there way back when I entrusted Santa to a secret wish. In my letter (for his eyes only of course) I included something I chose not to discuss with mum, dad or sisters. I was so young yet already full of secrets and repression. I asked Santa for the Little Mermaid barbie doll. Christmas morning came and I couldn’t enjoy opening my presents, each one was wrapped in it’s tacky excellence. One of these wrapped gifts held a toy that, if revealed could cause me utter demoralisation, embarrassment and unwanted exposure. As soon as I peeled the wrapping paper and saw Ariels hair I stopped and moved behind the door to open it in secret. It was so clear to me then that it was wrong to align my self with femininity. How lucky was I that my folks got me that doll.

As an adult and after coming out my feminine traits could be less tethered but they still were smothered by the need to be a “man”. I was now in a world where the perception of being a “good gay” was paramount in culture. A “good gay” is a gay that comes as close to being straight as possible. Have muscles, wear cable knit, get married and pass as one of the boys. Don’t be overt, don’t be camp above all else. To quote

“... you’re not like one of them gays pushing it in people’s faces”.

What that person actually means is you are as close to us as a weirdo can be, so well done.

Recently things seemed to have had a seismic shift to towards the pink, as have I. Culture is no longer tolerating fems or selling them as comedy and nothing else. Talented, brave boys are strutting unapologetically and with fierce strength (Oh My My My!). A type of strength I think only gay men and women have in their arsenal.

The Femalution is movement for everyone. I know straight boy friends feel relief from our friendship because my femininity allows them to show there femininity.


It’s not about just fems, it’s roots lie in all of us. We can be whatever we feel we want to be, whenever we want to be. Fuck it, my inner barbie can be it all!

The perception of femininity has been construed and warped by the very culture that has chose to constrain it. Being feminine is aligning your self with the biggest power on the earth. Perhaps that’s why it’s perception has been alerted because they know how dangerous that power truly is. It’s no revelation that homophobia really comes from the patriarchies hatred of woman. A man being feminine is/was seen as the most degrading thing a boy could do. Women deal with this unfairness everyday. An intrinsic and systemic judgment on everything they choose to do.

My life has been completely transformed over the past few years because I’ve let go of everything I had imposed upon me. My femininity has been let free and it’s given me super powers! It’s the best thing since Gina G’s performance in Eurovision!

The love of women is my passion and I’m lucky to have been gifted with some of what I adore in the girls I surround myself with.

To see femininity in a boy is the most romantically attractive thing for me. Who wouldn’t want a little woman in a male partner?? My mum said to me once that “it’s a shame you’re gay because you love women” but I can have it all because the rules are being broken. Some of us have been handed the sight, we know that gender is bull shit because we have both “genders” within us. We know the secret and know through music, journalism, art and figure staking that the secrets out.

Adam Rippon, Troy Sivan, Olly Alexander I salute you!

Julian Clary, Paul O’Grady thank you for being our first brave torch bearers

The media have been forced to listen to our talents, loves, attitude and voice. The feminist movement being on fire has freed us. As women get more equality they free a little army of gays and we will be forever thankful.

Vive La FEMALUTION!!!!!!




Today everyone gets a taste of being a celebrity. We are all controlling our own PR, On sets, shooting and selling our brand. There is one difference, perfumes. I'm yet to have my own scent peddled in Superdrug. Sometimes I do have a scent but it’s more inspired by my night prior rather than my latest collection or album.

Almost everyone has a following whether that be 200 followers or 1000 and upward (until it gets crazy followed then you are just a celebrity). Most people judge celebs that have a moan about how hard it is ect “they’ve waived their right to anonymity” right? Ok but as soon as you manufactured your whitty handle and pressed the sign up button on insta you made a choice. The choice to be known, be exposed and to waive a practised goodbye to anonymity. Byeeeeeeee!!! Unless you are actually one of the amazing aliens that have steered clear of social media (my sisters an alien) you have been Kardashianed.

Social media and tech is so frowned upon. With everyone saying it’s dangerous, a relationship breaker and an a-front to natural human behaviour. All of the above have total truths and we have all come a cropper whilst knee deep in your obsession and double tapped a picture from 2012 because you were trying to zoom in to see what colour their eyes are 😂!

Soooo the most intelligent thing in a storm is to try and make it go backwards by blowing at it. No!!! The storms here and that’s it, i say get your kite out and make the best of it. Fighting this social evolution is #stupid. Picking it apart only fuels the very problems you are commenting on. Surely it’s benefits should be revered rather than its down sides.

We can engage millions of people with a movement (#austeritykills #metoo #blacklivesmatter #freekesha). Bonds between each other can be maintained across country borders. They can see your life, your dreams, (hopefully) coming true. Before, you might not have been able to maintain it. People with debilitating illness can move, engage, connect and walk through the world. Mental health issues that you wouldn’t talk about face to face can be discussed and advice shared on Facebook groups. Similarity’s can be found with more people. I may never have met so many folk with an unhealthy obsession with Buffy, space and the 1950’s, I for one don’t want to live in that world.

People creating their best angle and tuning themselves up and feeling that they look great in a picture is empowering, as is sharing it. Why would feeling beautiful ever be a bad thing? (not dismissing the negatives here just focusing on the positive).

Next time someone “pffts” your mates selfie I challenge you to ask to see their camera roll. I guarantee you’ll see a selfie or a 1000. Difference being they weren’t brave enough to post it. That’s a shame, I for one would love to see someone owning an outfit they feel sexy in #doubletap (on insta ha). A picture that shows me they’re on the mend and gaining confidence after someone took it from them, being with them in the shop when they found the perfect shade foundation and seeing the close up selfie later in the evening, a kiss selfie of a friend who is falling in love, a boy gaying it up after coming out and I could go on.

We are all aware we don’t always look like we do in that picture in real time but you will sometimes, I see my friends real life selfie self all the time. Mainly when we are going out and preening ourselves all the while white wining it up!! #awokeuplikethis

So stick your phones up in the air and give them a thirsty pout, filter it up and wack it up! #ownit