First of all I need to say GBF means
GAY BEST FRIEND (fml)
“Every time a child says 'I don't believe in fairies' there is a a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead”
Well every time a basic person describes someone as a “GBF” I want them to drop down (not dead ........ errrrrrrrm ........ no..... too much).
Describing someone as a “GBF” proclaims exactly what these people think they are not. To believe reducing a friendship to the fact that someone in the beautiful partnership is gay is demeaning. Why would the gender I'm a attracted to ever be a part of who I choose to form a bond with within a friendship??
Not being able to describe a friendship without having to add the fact that someone is gay in to the equation is a microscope in to that persons soul. A soul that intrinsically believes they are better than minority groups. Ethnic groups and gay people have to be bombarded with this sickly plastic attempt at them prizing us with inclusion on a regular basis. All the time we worry about addressing it, we have been seen as lesser for years and that it is wrong to draw attention to our queerness (being diverse not just gay). We have a fear of upsetting the “elite” (aka straights). Are we all inwardly seeking there approval? Is that why we let these homophobic behaviours slide more often than not?
I made a decision to call up and educate these people long ago. They’re all cut from the same crop, the field of ease, the field of white and straight. I’ve been metaphorically (Joan Collins style) slapping these people down for a while now. It’s been like being a police man in prison. It has completely changed my passive reputation, now I’m not easy and am “one of those militant gays”.
The true algeberic conundrum is that these people have no clue on their bigotry and are not willing to listen (on the whole). Their honest opinion of themselves is that saying “GBF” makes them tolerant, tolerant being the operative word. That’s exactly what they are doing, tolerating us.
After a drink this type of person always asks about sex and roles ect.
“How do you do it?”
“Are you the man or the woman?”
“You are two guys so you must have sex all the time?”
“When did you realise you were gay?”
“Is it strange because one of you will be bigger?”
“I’m cool, I have a gay friend”
“You don’t seem that gay”
If you’ve not had this bewildering communication as a queer lucky you!!! I actually respect being shouted at in the street more than these comments. At least they know what they think and do not pretend to be ok with it.
All my closest people who these fools describe our relationships as being a “GBF” are plastic progressionists. I’m now ok with saying it, they’re wrong and out of order. They will never like being told and will never agree with me but I simply have a responsibility to make sure they forever think twice. When we tell them, they won’t do it again due to the fact they are maintaining the fact that they are all for “equality” blah blah!
I have been in plenty of pubs with brilliant straight people who have said stupid things and we have chatted and they have understood. I love those transactions, that is how we change perceptions. Being trigger happy on Facebook doesn’t cut it. We cannot discount and be ignorant of people’s opinions because judging someone is exactly what we should be fighting. So to dismiss, as a member of a minority is a self profiling prophecy. We have an obligation to listen and change. Most queers have done that with their own families. Listen and recognise a true person who has said something silly but is willing to learn. Also, if you realise they won’t change they should be gone in on Owen Jones style. Tell them and remove them.
Having someone you are around keep making the same bigoted mistakes after telling them that it is NOT RIGHT means you have to be a warrior for the cause and let them feel how it feels for us everyday. Make them feel silly and irrelevant.
The questions they ask us, the use of the word “Gay” as an adjective used to describe something bad is unacceptable, always and with no excuses. If they learn from you they can become your best friends, I’ve been there. If they don’t, then sweep the decks with vocal vigour. It will fuck you over but think of the little minority member you will save from the hurt because if you say it to them they will not do it again. The people who shout “faggot” will always do so. The people who dress up as allies but are truly not, will fall in line if you call them out and will not maintain that behaviour, they will stop. They won’t stop because they’ve changed they will stop because they’re desperate to be liked and thought of as liberal.They will go on being boring and watching Netflix shows they don’t like so they can look cool.
The bible I know well (catholic). It’s full of contradictions! One being these two quotes
“Turn the other cheek”
“An eye for and eye”
For me it’s “an eye for an eye”! Be brave and call them out! Either start a process where they learn or start a process where they have to feel their behaviour has dented the brilliant vehicle they are so proud of. A Ferrari with a dent in is laughed at, as they should be.
GB...F all the way off! If I was to describe them as BMFWNRQ (basic mother fuckers with no redeeming qualities) they’d not like it! That’s exactly what they say when the describe you as a “GBF”. For me “GBF” stands for GROW BRAVERY FOREVER! I’m gay, I’m not and will never be a handbag accessory for anyone. Not one of my best friends would ever lower themselves to think of me as a “GBF” I’m a “BF” nothing else.
This post is charged and a little angry. I’m sorry.
Nope I’m not! Bigotry is angry TBH!