PLATONIC WITH GIN AND TONIC
Everything is about falling in love. Whether that be with a new starlet or ... well ermmmm the male counterpart (Troye Sivan).
As I continue my older life there is even more pressure to get that dog and picket fence. Falling in love has happened and will happen again, fingers crossed.
‘Love’ In the English dictionary explains it as the following. I’ve picked the ones I like. Google it for the whole list.
An intense feeling of deep affection.
‘babies fill parents with feelings of love’
‘their love for their country’
strong feeling of affection and sexual attraction for someone.‘they were both in love with her’‘we were slowly falling in love’
A person or thing that one loves.
‘their two great loves are tobacco and whisky’‘she was the love of his life’
A friendly form of address.‘it's all right, love’
And it goes on, even referencing how to describe scoring in Tennis, how very British. Wimbledon, a back and fourth head turning and strawberries and bloody cream eating event gets more of a mention in the definition of ‘love’ than the definition I believe ‘love’ deserves from Oxford.
I’ve fallen in love numerous times in my life, deep and utter love for another human. Uncontrollable, unconditional and emotional love. Go on, judge me.
Now that I’ve started a new paragraph in order for you to have had time to judge my constant falling in love I shall get to my point. All these deep and meaningful love affairs have not been romantic or sexual. There has been very little of those and they haven’t ended well. My deep and meaningful loves have birthed from another more meaningful place. The kind of love that lasts and makes a mark on your soul, a utter obsession and devotion. My true love affairs are with my closest friends. A pure chemistry I have had since clapping eyes on them (love at first sight). One friend of mine came in to class wearing amazing love heart shaped sunglasses. She was indoors and In the perpetually grey city of Manchester. Our tutor asked her why she maintained wearing them in a ‘voice’ class, to which she responded ‘Because I love them’.
I was sat crossed legged about to learn how to breath and this girl took my breath away. I was hook line and sinker in love. I made a decision that I had to make her fall in love with me. Much like when you meet a boy/girl you want romantically, we choose to put the moves on. So I did :) and she loved it and we are best mates to this day. We fell in love. We lived together, she wrote my name in the snow with a love heart on our front step in Salford to greet me when I got home from work. Proper devotion to another’s feelings.
Another friend in college/high school told me he saw me defend someone on a bus and he had the same reaction that I had had to heart shaped sunglasses girl. He made a decision to be friends with me. He is now my only friend from that time in my life. We remind each other who we are, we get pissed and chat shit, but most of all we have a chemistry that prevails the years. That’s the dream, no??
I could go on with my platonic love stories and I will in a later post as they all deserve a break down.
All we are all wishing and hoping for is to have a connection with another. We fight for it, we settle for it and we go on shitty tinder dates for it, when actually we already have it in bucket loads (unless you are very unlikable).
We are all taught the platonic and non insertion love is a given and that it’s a marginal requirement for life’s endeavours. Why does it not get the recognition romantic love does? Because you roll around in bed with some one, it is more important? It’s more poignant? it’s more supportive? it’s more loving, supportive and necessary????
I think we have all had enough sexual encounters that have been awful and irrelevant to realise that pressing sex in to a personal link to another doesn’t equate to deep and all consuming love. Sure, sometimes it does and that is amazing. It also brings in roles, kinks and fantasies that most people (once you’ve had sex) cannot leave in the bedroom. Sex leaks out in to your day to day life, affecting everything you do, dominating and sometimes demeaning who you are. With a platonic love that element is not there. Surely that makes it more special, no? To have someone love you with out wanting to have sex (make love, whatever) with you surely is on a par, if not, worth more?? It didn’t even get a mention in the definition of love!!
I will wake up worried and desperate about a friends situation. I will drop everything to make sure I am there for them. This kind of love for another is so special. Absolute emotional decadence and dedication enlisted from a connection you both share.
From the lad that walked into the garden centre I worked in and taught me how to have less constraint, to the girl who watched me do a shite cockney accent in a play, a boy who moved in to our shared house in Salford and insulted me from the get go, to a woman who asked me if I wanted a twin set when I came out, to a young girl who was my bosses daughter and laughed at me when I knelt on the drawing pins I had dropped whilst displaying giant stuffed polar bears, to the girl from wales who always gets the drinks in when I’m poor, to the girl who kept falling I love with the wrong girl as I did the same thing with boys, to the brilliant woman who recognised i was struggling, to the girl who I smoked cigarettes with me and picked me up out side ‘nosh and breks’ because I couldn’t drive yet, to the popular boy who met me in school and made me feel good about men, to an East London lass who was and emotional as me, to another bosses daughter who didn’t judge my music tastes and who danced with me on an Italian porch, to the apprentice that called me ‘extra’, to the woman who told me to know peoples limitations and not to expect more, to a French princess who told me that it’s ok for me to be more French, to the girl who did my job prior and was nonchalant about my overly emotional responsiveness and to all of the people I’m platonically head over heels in love with, you are everything.
The pitching of what love is, is totally warped I’m totally in a devoted love with a great and brilliant group of people that have given me so much and Hopefully I them, we just don’t get biblical. I think we should all get a mortgage.
Theme tune to this being The Wannadies “It’s always me and you always”
chevk out the link for the music video
”IT WAS ALWAYS YOU AND ME ALWAYS”